Barnards Green Cricket Club

                                    North End Lane




                                    Tel: 01684 575962


News and announcements

From Barnards Green Cricket Club.

March 2003 to July 2003

Last call for tour deposits.

This weekend is POSITIVELY the last chance to pay your

tour deposits.

Any latecomers need to get in touch with Jez NOW as the few

remaining places are going rapidly.

If you’ve not experienced Tour then click here to get a taste.



Last Colts Nets.

This Wednesday ( 30th July ) sees the last of the Colts’

Coaching sessions. Please come along and help in

any way you can. There are always jobs to be done

at the Green, although the plants will probably not need

watering this week. Enjoy a drink and a snack whilst

watching the youngsters enjoy themselves.


Quote of the week.

Once again we are indebted to our overseas ( Polish ) star.

Marek ( following the fall of a wicket ):

“ This bloke wanders in, doesn’t take a guard and smacks the first ball for a four !”


“ This bloke’s been in for 17 overs Marek !”

SUMMER FUN !!!!!              PICTURES

This weekend ( 26th and 27th July ) sees our main fundraising event of the year take place at The Green.

On Saturday from 7pm onwards there will be disco and karaoke for members and guests,

Sunday from 12 noon sees the family fun day which includes a  match between our ladies and our social team, as well as all kinds of events for the young and the young at heart!. Oh… and the bar will be open of course.  Don’t miss it !!!



A critical situation has arisen.

Due to a function taking place at The Green on Wednesday 23rd July

the kitchen will be unavailable.

HOWEVER !!!!!!!! – we do have a brand new barbecue which is

overdue for it’s debut and hopefully we will still be able to provide our Colts

with burgers and hotdogs after their session.

Please come along and help in any way you can.


Scorebox officially opened.

Wednesday – 16TH July

The official opening of the new scorebox took place on Wednesday.

Following a match between an Andy Lamb Invitation XI and the Famous Fossils

at Northend Lane starting at 1pm, and then the usual Colts coaching evening,

the opening ceremony went ahead at  about 8pm.

It was great to see so many friends, players and sponsors.

Robin Longmore thanked everyone who had worked so hard to provide

the club with such  excellent facilities and then the scorebox was opened

by Andy Lamb and dedicated to our friend Alex.

Andy was presented with a number of small gifts which we know will

bring happy memories to him and his family.



1st XI Skipper Rich has been and gone and done his thumb !!!!

Rumours are that whilst attempting a triple-salco ( with loop )

off his own bowling, he bust the Bugger!!!


1ST XI skipper Rich has only damaged one thumb so he can still ……..

umpire, score, operate the scoreboard, sweep the patio, put out the flags,

collect match fees and generally hurl abuse from the safety of the pavilion.

Get well soon Skip !!!





Coming soon – Nelson’s Column.

Your chance to contribute to our website.

Do you have something you want to get off your chest or some ideas you just want to share with other club members?

Send your “piece” to Nelson's Column for publication.

If you wish to remain anonymous then please make sure that you say so BUT REMEMBER that we will not publish anything derogatory or of a personal nature.


Juggler of the week award goes to Toby Goodman for his “effort”

against Avonscroft.

Smuggler of the week award goes to Emily for her chest-height catch

against Belbroughton. – Where did that ball end up ?


Quote of the week

Marek, ( coming in to face a Quickie at Avonscroft ):

“Is it OK to drive Derek?”


“Depends on how much you’ve had to drink Marek !”


It could have happened.

Potential quote of the week.

5th July 2003


1st’s Captain on mobile phone:

“How did you get on Dick ?”

2nd’s Captain:

“We won, got them all out for 40!”

1st’s Captain:

“What kept you?”

Quotes of the week!

Hmmm… where do we start?

A number of contenders from the Saturday Thirds game against Feckenham…


Captain Bob ( whilst amongst a dressing room full of semi-naked players ):

“Where is Emily anyway ?”


Robbie Lewis at tea, (tucking into a piece of melon):

“Look at this lovely banana – just like Barbados”


Nick Rogers – scoring:

“ so who is the other umpire?”


Err.. that’s your Dad Nick !

Theakstons is back !!

Yes, your favourite brew returns after a short absence and it is hoped that plenty of members will

partake of a “ swift arf ”  this Friday ( 27th June ) when Paul’s Merry Social Men

take on Jez’s Co-Skivers Workers at The Green. Weather permitting it should be a good night and

 there are rumours that the new barbeque will get its first airing.


Quote of the week !

“What! …… Still no Theakstons ?”



The Green are to seek legal advice regarding criminal damage caused on Saturday at Northend Lane. One of the white posts near the sight-screen was defaced when it was covered in rust after being struck by a madman in a pre-war Vauxhall. Not since the days of the late and much-missed George has such a display of road-rage and poor driving been seen at The Green. It is also anticipated that club members will demand a speech of thanks from the driver for the improvements carried out to the vehicle as both sides now match. After the incident the second team captain was heard to remark:-

“that’s the best leg-side glance I’ve done all year”.


Did you bring your photos ?

On Friday ( 20th June ) a special magic lantern show was held at The Green for the old folks

to re-live the recent Saga outing to Barbados.

As the memories came flooding back there was not a dry seat eye in the house.

Afterwards, exhausted from their exertions, the weary travellers retired for a well earned

cup of Horlicks.


Quotes of the week !

15th June 2003

Again we have our overseas (Polish) player to thank for this week’s pearls !!



“Will you open for me Marek?”


“I think I’d be wasted as an opener”



Marek: ( having just bowled 5 consecutive full tosses )

“Where do you think I’m going wrong Lambie?”



Fun Stuff – Nothing to do with cricket!

Hear Robin’s song! 

And email us if you want more of this sort of stuff!

You may need to download “real player” to hear this


Kartoon Korner.

A serious view of Ladies' Cricket.


Pedmore withdraw from League.

There will be no Saturday 3rd team match this week ( 14th June )

As Pedmore have withdrawn from the league.


Click Here for the latest League Tables


The Sandbox Tree interview.

( you may need to download “real player” to hear the interview)


Dan Flynn can’t stop scoring.

7th June 2003

With another century on Saturday, the Green’s New Zealand all-rounder

has already amassed over 500 runs this season.


Quote of the week !

1st June 2003

Dick Brown:

I was bowling well until I went for a ten and 2 fours off one over!


Jack-Attack !  …. See the video !


Quotes of the week !

31st May 2003


“This bloke can’t bat - he’s an Asian Marek!”

( who then went on to score 70 plus ) !


Groundsman.. (on hearing the news that Dan had scored 140 at the Green)

“There ya go..I told you it was a cracking wicket!”


“Yeah – well, you did have 2 weeks to prepare it because you wouldn’t let anyone

play on it last week ! ”


Who’d be a Groundsman eh ?

Whilst abroad recently, Jez Clarke picked up a few useful tips on the preparation of

a decent batting strip and he is keen to pass on his knowledge to The Green’s Groundstaff.


Quote of the week !

25th May 2003

The Green’s overseas (Polish) player on realising he was out of position in the field:

“Sorry Lambie – I forgot where I was”

Andy Lamb:

“It’s Earth Marek!”

Back to basics ! - 24th May 2003

The Saturday Thirds, confounded by the League Fixture Secretary went back to basics

on Saturday when they visited Stourbridge and had a taste of Cricket al fresco.

The conditions were “interesting” !!


Summer Tour - 25th August 2003

Very, Very, Very important

The rather significant subject of the organisation of the annual summer tour is at hand.

Tour commences 25th August.

Jez is, as usual, on top of things and now needs to collect deposits.

He will therefore be delighted if the next time you see him you grasp him firmly

by the  throat hand and thrust 3 crisp £10 notes under his nose. He will be even more delighted if

you offer him a drink at the same time.

But seriously – there are a lot of  “up-front” costs involved and

therefore Jez needs to get your £30 deposit as soon as possible.


Date for the diary…..

Social match – Bank Holiday Monday 26th May

against a Mogsey Jones Select Eleven. 2.30 ( ish).

No doubt the bar will be open!


Whilst trawling…..

Whilst trawling through numerous cricket websites recently, one chanced upon several reports of

ancient Cricket touring sides from Warwick University. Dusting off the archives revealed a long-lost

picture of someone by the name of Lamb. Now, rumour has it that this could be our very own “Lambie”,

although it is difficult to be certain as the picture does show signs of vigourous air-brushing !


Some of the match reports and statistics do make interesting reading and are worth a look


Quotes of the week !

18th May 2003

“I don’t consider that to be a chance”

The Green’s overseas ( Polish ) player describing his blatant refusal in the field against Feckenham.


22nd May 2003

can you go and field at a mid wickety type thing”

Judd setting a precise field during the evening league match.


Oh No !   They’re back !!!    pictures

A tour party of 36 players and supporters from Barnards Green Cricket Club recently returned rather reluctantly to Malvern after two weeks on the Caribbean Island of Barbados.  This was the first overseas tour for the club, arranged by club cricketer and girls cricket coach Andrew Wheeler and encompassed five games against teams on the island.  With a blend of youth and some more mature players, the Green did themselves proud on and off the field and despite failing to register a win on the field of play, they made a great impact amongst the local community.  So much so, that three of the party were invited to take part in a live interview on the Caribbean Broadcasting Company (CBC) radio station to talk about Malvern, cricket at Barnards green and the state of world cricket in general. 
With temperatures in the late 80's, the party managed to pack in an awful lot into the space of fourteen days including a day at the test match, cruising the island on a catamaran where they went snorkleing and swimming with turtles, a trip on the Jolly Roger a fun boat that sails the Caribbean coast, dining with Sir Cliff Richard and Cilla Black at Oistons, a fishing village that comes to life on a Friday night to the sound of Reggae and old time dancing!  A Karaoke evening with Austin Heeley (England Rugby star) and a celabratory evening with the Aussie test stars at a beach night club after they had beaten the West Indies in the third test.  Add to this a day touring the island, a visit to the Malibu distillery and Baracuda fishing for the more hardy amongst the party and it will be seen that for most this was a holiday of a lifetime.
As the party returned to the cold and wet of Malvern, there was already talk of another tour in a few years time, look out you Aussies, we may not beat you at cricket, but we have some mean Karaoke singers!


Quote of the week !

10th May…

We are lucky enough to have two Q’sOTW this weekend, both from

the second’s skipper at Martley.


1. “I knew it was a seamer’s wicket, that’s why I brought on Sherlie” !!


2. Martin :             I was surprised when you brought on Liam

    Captain Dick :   So was I !!”


Double-Jugger from “T.A.”  match report available.

Fresh from his exertions in Barbados, Robbie proved that a mixture of

Rum Punch and jet lag can have strange side effects.

Amongst cries of  “ keep it up Robbie – just like you did last week “, he proceeded to achieve

54 with the bat, 5 for 19 with the ball, a left-footed half-volley run-out from 20 yards

and a diving two-handed catch – not the first time he’s had both feet in the air this week !

Obviously whilst everyone else was partying on the Barbados tour, Robbie was keeping his eye in !!!!


Quote of the week !

3rd May…

“It’s not going to get any drier until it stops raining”

( Second Team Skipper debating whether to start play against Alveley on Saturday ).


Hot News From Barbados !

News just in via Reuters ….Several members of an English Cricket touring side were injured as they left their

aeroplane yesterday. First reports are that they tripped over their wallets and fell down the stairs!

Read on …………….

A group of 36 intrepid players and supporters set off recently from BGCC for the Carribean island of Barbados.  The tour takes in five games of cricket and after the first week, the Green had found out what Calypso cricket was all about.  In the first game, the Green found the going tough in 88 degrees of heat on an outfield not disimilar to Castlemorton common after a long dry summer. Jamie Longmore took thehonour of taking the first wicket and Robbie Lewis scored the first 50 of the tour.  Duncan Bell had the honour of hitting the first six.  The opposition scored an uncomprimising 195 for 8 off their 35 overs and in reply the Green scored a creditable 165 losing by 30 runs.  The second game saw a visit to the NorthEast of the island to Isolation Cavaliers and thsi was Calypso cricket at its best, with the ball travelling to all parts of the ground.  At one point the score looked likely to reach 400, but as a few wickets tumled, a final score of 275 was reached with the opener out on 126 having been dropped by Andy wheeler on 6.  Andys day was completed when he was run out for nought without facing a ball!  Tim Clarke played a splendid innings of 64 and was well supported by Tim Williams who also hit a half century, but the Green fell well short on 170 for 7.  The night was then dances away to the sounds of Reggae and the odd Karaoke! With more games to come, the Green will find the going tough, but one things for sure, everyone is having a great time in Barbados.

Social Season off to a start     Sorry – Cancelled !!

5th May…

The social side have had their collective bluff called and a challenge issued for the Bank Holiday afternoon.

Pauls “men?” will play a ladies team comprising Barnards Green Ladies and invited guests at the

Newland Ground from about 2.00pm onwards… ( the timing of social games does tend to be a little hit and miss ).

Come along and lend your support …. Messrs Jones and Co. could be in for a shock!!!


Alarm Bells Ringing already !

26th April….

Realising that the opposition batsmen were beginning to get the upper hand The Green knew that they had

to try every trick in the book to turn the situation around. However even setting off the burglar alarms

at the club failed to stem the flow of late runs and The Green only managed to come a creditable second in their

match against the O.E’s. Never mind …… it was just a friendly!



2003 Season – off to a start !     match reports available!!


Preparations for the new season.

Already the ground at The Green is looking in great shape for the coming season. Thanks as usual to the groundstaff

and everyone else who is putting in time at the ground. Work on the new scorebox is progressing well and the new patio area is almost ready.

Any club members who find themselves with a couple of hours to kill will find plenty to do at the ground.




A most welcome addition to the equipment at The Green is the new set of covers recently delivered.

Let’s hope that they won’t be needed too much this summer!

With the excellent new permanent nets constructed last season and the availability of the mobile nets, there can be

little doubt that the facilities at The Green are the envy of other clubs in the area.

Outdoor nets sessions will begin shortly. Watch this space for further details.


26/3/03 - Green AGM

BARNARDS Green Cricket Club held its annual general meeting on Wednesday March 26 at the clubhouse.

All members present welcomed friends from Newland and the news that subscriptions for the forthcoming season

are to be left unaltered .

A quiet drink was then enjoyed by everyone.




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