Barnards
Green Cricket Club

North End Lane
Malvern
Worcestershire
Tel:
01684 575962
From Barnards Green Cricket Club.
March 2003 to July 2003
Last call for tour deposits.
This
weekend is POSITIVELY the last chance to pay your
tour
deposits.
Any
latecomers need to get in touch with Jez NOW as the few
remaining
places are going rapidly.
If
you’ve not experienced Tour then click here to get a
taste.
Last Colts Nets.
This Wednesday ( 30th July ) sees the last of the
Colts’
Coaching sessions. Please come along and help in
any way you can. There are always jobs to be done
at the Green, although the plants will probably not need
watering this week. Enjoy a drink and a snack whilst
watching the youngsters enjoy themselves.
Once again we are indebted
to our overseas ( Polish ) star.
Marek ( following the fall of a wicket ):
Lambie:

A critical situation has arisen.
Due to a function taking place at The Green on Wednesday
23rd July
the kitchen will be unavailable.
HOWEVER !!!!!!!! – we do have a brand new barbecue which
is
overdue for it’s debut and hopefully we will still be
able to provide our Colts
with burgers and hotdogs after their session.
Please come along and help in any way you can.
Wednesday – 16TH July
The official opening of the
new scorebox took place on Wednesday.
Following a match between an
Andy Lamb Invitation XI and the Famous Fossils
at Northend Lane starting at
1pm, and then the usual Colts coaching evening,
the opening ceremony went
ahead at about 8pm.
It was great to see so many
friends, players and sponsors.
Robin Longmore thanked
everyone who had worked so hard to provide
the club with such excellent facilities and then the scorebox
was opened
by Andy Lamb and dedicated to
our friend Alex.
Andy was presented with a
number of small gifts which we know will
bring happy memories to him
and his family.
BAD
NEWS OF THE WEEK !
1st XI Skipper Rich has been and gone and done his thumb !!!!
Rumours are that whilst attempting a triple-salco ( with loop )
off his own bowling, he bust the Bugger!!!
GOOD
NEWS OF THE WEEK !
1ST XI skipper Rich has only damaged one thumb so he can still ……..
umpire, score, operate the scoreboard, sweep the patio, put out the flags,
collect match fees and generally hurl abuse from the safety of the pavilion.
Get well soon Skip !!!
111 Coming soon – Nelson’s Column. Your chance to contribute to our website. Do you have something you want to get off your chest or
some ideas you just want to share with other club members? Send your “piece” to Nelson's Column for
publication. If you wish to remain anonymous then please make sure
that you say so BUT REMEMBER that we will not publish anything derogatory
or of a personal nature.
Juggler of the week award goes to Toby Goodman for his “effort”
against Avonscroft.
Smuggler of the week award goes to Emily for her chest-height catch
against Belbroughton. – Where did that ball end up ?
Marek, ( coming in to face a Quickie at Avonscroft ):
Derek:
It could have happened.
Potential quote
of the week.
5th July 2003
1st’s Captain on mobile phone:
2nd’s Captain:
1st’s Captain:
Hmmm… where do we start? A number of contenders from the Saturday Thirds game
against Feckenham… 1. Captain Bob ( whilst amongst a dressing room full of
semi-naked players ): 2. Robbie Lewis at tea, (tucking into a piece of melon): 3. Nick Rogers – scoring: “ so who is the other umpire?” Reply:
Quotes of the week!
“Where is Emily anyway ?”
“Look at this lovely banana – just like Barbados”
Err.. that’s your Dad Nick !
Yes, your favourite brew returns after a short absence and it is hoped that plenty of members will
partake of a “ swift arf ” this Friday ( 27th June ) when Paul’s Merry Social Men
take on Jez’s Co-Skivers Workers at
The Green. Weather permitting it should be a good night and
there are rumours that the new barbeque will get its first airing.
The
Green are to seek legal advice regarding criminal damage caused on Saturday
at Northend Lane. One of the white posts near the sight-screen was defaced
when it was covered in rust after being struck by a madman in a pre-war
Vauxhall. Not since the days of the late and much-missed George has such a
display of road-rage and poor driving been seen at The Green. It is also
anticipated that club members will demand a speech of thanks from the
driver for the improvements carried out to the vehicle as both sides now
match. After the incident the second team captain was
heard to remark:- “that’s the best leg-side glance I’ve done all year”.

On Friday ( 20th June ) a special magic lantern show was held at The Green for the old folks
to re-live the recent Saga outing to Barbados.
As the memories came flooding
back there was not a dry seat
eye in the house.
Afterwards, exhausted from their exertions, the weary travellers retired for a well earned
cup of Horlicks.
15th June 2003
1.
Mogsey:
“Will you open for me Marek?”
Marek:
2.
Marek: ( having just bowled 5 consecutive
full tosses )
“Where do you think I’m going wrong Lambie?”
And email us if you want more of this sort of stuff!
You may need to download “real player” to hear this
Kartoon Korner.
A
serious view of Ladies' Cricket.
Pedmore withdraw from League.
There will be no Saturday 3rd team match this week ( 14th June )
As Pedmore have withdrawn from the league.
Click Here for the latest League Tables
The Sandbox Tree interview.
( you may need to download “real player” to hear the interview)
Dan Flynn can’t stop scoring.
7th June 2003
With another century on Saturday, the Green’s New Zealand all-rounder
has already amassed over 500 runs this season.
1st June 2003
Dick Brown:
I was bowling well until I went for a ten and 2 fours off
one over!
Quotes of the week !
31st May 2003
Groundsman…
“This bloke can’t bat - he’s an
Asian Marek!”
( who then went on to score 70 plus ) !
Groundsman.. (on hearing the news that Dan had scored 140 at the Green)
“There ya go..I told you it was
a cracking wicket!”
Spectator..
“Yeah – well, you did have 2
weeks to prepare it because you wouldn’t let anyone
play on it last week ! ”
Who’d be a Groundsman eh ?
Whilst abroad recently, Jez Clarke picked up a few useful tips on the preparation of
a decent batting strip and he is keen to pass on his knowledge to The Green’s Groundstaff.
Quote of the week !
25th May 2003
The Green’s overseas (Polish) player on realising he was out of position in the field:
Andy Lamb:
Back to basics ! - 24th May 2003
The Saturday Thirds, confounded by the League Fixture Secretary went back to basics
on Saturday when they visited Stourbridge and had a taste of Cricket al fresco.
The conditions were “interesting” !!
The rather significant subject of the organisation of the annual summer tour is at hand.
Tour commences 25th August.
Jez is, as usual, on top of things and now needs to collect deposits.
He will therefore be delighted if the next time you see him you grasp him firmly
by the throat
hand and thrust 3 crisp £10 notes under his nose. He will be even more
delighted if
you offer him a drink at the same time.
But seriously – there are a lot of “up-front” costs involved and
therefore Jez needs to get your £30 deposit as soon as possible.
Date for the diary…..
Social match – Bank Holiday Monday 26th May
against a Mogsey Jones Select Eleven. 2.30 ( ish).
No doubt the bar will be open!
Whilst trawling…..
Whilst trawling through numerous cricket websites recently, one chanced upon several reports of
ancient Cricket touring sides from Warwick University. Dusting off the archives revealed a long-lost
picture of someone by the name of Lamb. Now, rumour has it that this could be our very own “Lambie”,
although it is difficult to be certain as the picture does show signs of vigourous air-brushing !
Some of the match reports and statistics do make
interesting reading and are worth a look


.
The Green’s overseas ( Polish ) player describing his blatant refusal in the field against Feckenham.
22nd May 2003
“can you go and field at a mid wickety type thing”
Judd setting a precise field during the evening league match.
A tour party of 36 players and supporters from Barnards Green
Cricket Club recently returned rather reluctantly to Malvern after two weeks
on the Caribbean Island of Barbados. This was the first overseas tour
for the club, arranged by club cricketer and girls cricket coach Andrew
Wheeler and encompassed five games against teams on the island. With
a blend of youth and some more mature players, the Green did themselves
proud on and off the field and despite failing to register a win on the
field of play, they made a great impact amongst the local community.
So much so, that three of the party were invited to take part in a live
interview on the Caribbean Broadcasting Company (CBC) radio station to talk
about Malvern, cricket at Barnards green and the state of world cricket in
general.
With temperatures in the late 80's, the party managed to pack in an awful
lot into the space of fourteen days including a day at the test match,
cruising the island on a catamaran where they went snorkleing and swimming
with turtles, a trip on the Jolly Roger a fun boat that sails the Caribbean
coast, dining with Sir Cliff Richard and Cilla Black at Oistons, a fishing
village that comes to life on a Friday night to the sound of Reggae and old
time dancing! A Karaoke evening with Austin Heeley (England Rugby
star) and a celabratory evening with the Aussie test stars at a beach night
club after they had beaten the West Indies in the third test. Add to
this a day touring the island, a visit to the Malibu distillery and
Baracuda fishing for the more hardy amongst the party and it will be seen
that for most this was a holiday of a lifetime.
As the party returned to the cold and wet of Malvern, there was already
talk of another tour in a few years time, look out you Aussies, we may not
beat you at cricket, but we have some mean Karaoke singers!
Quote of the week !
10th May…
the second’s skipper at Martley.
1. “I knew it was a seamer’s wicket, that’s why I brought on Sherlie” !!
2. Martin : “ I was surprised when you brought on Liam”
Captain Dick : “ So was I !!”
Fresh from his exertions in Barbados, Robbie proved that a mixture of
Rum Punch and jet lag can have strange side effects.
Amongst cries of “ keep it up Robbie – just like you did last week “, he proceeded to achieve
54 with the bat, 5 for 19 with the ball, a left-footed half-volley run-out from 20 yards
and a diving two-handed catch – not the first time he’s had both feet in the air this week !
Obviously whilst everyone else was partying on the Barbados tour, Robbie was keeping his eye in !!!!
Quote of the week !
3rd May…
( Second Team Skipper debating whether to start play against Alveley on Saturday ).
News just in via Reuters ….Several members of an English Cricket touring side were injured as they left their
aeroplane yesterday. First reports are that they tripped over their wallets and fell down the stairs!
Read on …………….
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5th May…
The social side have had their
collective bluff called and a challenge issued for the Bank Holiday afternoon.
Pauls “men?” will play a ladies
team comprising Barnards Green Ladies and invited guests at the
Newland Ground from about 2.00pm
onwards… ( the timing of social games does tend to be a little hit and miss ).
Come along and lend your support …. Messrs Jones and Co. could be in for a shock!!!
26th April….
Realising that the opposition
batsmen were beginning to get the upper hand The Green knew that they had
to try every trick in the book
to turn the situation around. However even setting off the burglar alarms
at the club failed to stem the
flow of late runs and The Green only managed to come a creditable second in
their
match against the O.E’s. Never mind …… it was just a friendly!
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Already the ground at The Green is looking in great shape for the coming season. Thanks as usual to the groundstaff
and everyone else who is putting in time at the ground. Work on the new scorebox is progressing well and the new patio area is almost ready.
Any club members who find themselves with a couple of hours to kill will find plenty to do at the ground.
Undercover.
A most welcome addition to the equipment at The Green is the new set of covers recently delivered.
Let’s hope that they won’t be needed too much this summer!
With the excellent new permanent nets constructed last season and the availability of the mobile nets, there can be
little doubt that the facilities at The Green are the envy of other clubs in the area.
Outdoor nets sessions will begin shortly. Watch this space for further details.
All members present
welcomed friends from Newland and the news that subscriptions for the
forthcoming season
are to be left unaltered
.
A quiet drink was then
enjoyed by everyone.
Email: - enquiries@barnardsgreen.com
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