Barnards Green Cricket Club

North End Lane



Tel: 01684 575962


Latest News and announcements

From Barnards Green Cricket Club.


The content of this website is intended as an historical record of Barnards Green Cricket Club, important parts of which are the various photographs which may be taken from time to time and displayed on the site or in the clubhouse.


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22nd August 2005

The Green under 16's, ( 15's really ), entertained Swansea under 16's on Monday.

The Swansea contingient of some 16 players, plus the same number of coaches, and

spectators, were treated to a great day's cricket and a taste of the hospitality we

are used to providing. In a two innings match The Green were narrowly defeated.

Match report will follow. Phil Harris was voted man of the match and can be seen below

receiving a souvenir shirt from the Swansea Coach.

More pictures from the match can be found here.


Do you think you know your team mates? Try your hand at our Picture Quiz


International Cricketers at The Green.

The Australian Women's cricket team practising at Northend Lane from 9.30am

until 12.30 this Saturday, 20th August. Is there any truth in the rumour that they are seeking

help from Smeds with their own pre-match routine.

Note to Roy... can you get the lock fixed on the shower door please.

Brookers Bit's.  - Click here.
We are lucky this week in being able to have a unique insight into the workings ( loose term )

of a young man's mind. If there are any psychotherapists in the club then please contact the

website to agree your fee. If there are any psychoanalysts around then... good luck to you.

Click Here for news of the 2005 Tour.

TOUR DEPOSITS OF £40 are overdue. This is your last chance to book your place.

Something from the laws of cricket - which may interest Dickus and MJ.

Brooker's Bits.

Hello lards its andrew flintoff im bored its raining here at old trafford just to let brooker no
the eggs are fantastic and was sad to see him dropped from this test.
Wish him all the best and we will hope to see him at trent bridge all the best freddie.


Player profiles.

Have you looked at your profiles lately? Firstly many of the "best performance" figures are
ridiculously out of date and secondly some of the photographs need some serious updating.
Who exactly is that fresh-faced youth masquerading as J Lewis and has Jack lost a lot of weight

since Barbados?  Send in your updates! Send in your photos! Send anything!!!


Another Brooker shows his prowess with the bat!

Lee Brookes, complete with G&M bat reclaimed from some damp corner of a dark cupboard

stroked his way to a sublime 52 not out in the inaugural "Groundsman's Grinders vs Madresfield"

fixture at The Green - ( 8th August ). With the "Mads" batting first and battling their way to 121,

Brooker, ably supported by the irrepressible Mick Clack, the stylish Tom Clack, the unlucky Ferret

and Bushey The Wonder Plumber, chased down the win with an over to spare. A return match is

scheduled for next Monday ( 15th August ). Be there! - Or be somewhere more enjoyable.

So they they all were. Batsmen ready, fielders poised, Umpires in position. So who's missing?
That'll be Jason Brewer, the Bowler. Still standing at Third Man!

"That was a full-toss, or it would have been if he'd got his foot to the pitch of the ball."

Brooker's Bits

"Alright lards just to say good bye for a couple of weeks as duncan fletcher was on the phone last night
saying he wants me in the team to take on australia at birmingham this week. So the contract has been
completed and i go in the morning so steve freeman (BABE) will have to get another openig bowler from some where.
I will keep you up to date on the eggs from edgebaston wish me luck lards!!!!"


30th July 2005

More points for the 3rds !!

(Match called off because of the wet conditions).

Quote of MID-week:

Dave White,  ( on hearing that there is a 12 O'clock meet for the next home match ):-

"are we having a pre-match meal?"


Tour rumour!

The rumour of the Three Musketeers coming on tour is now in major doubt! Even a maiden century from Acid may

not have been enough to convince his Mother that he is old enough to become an official tour virgin!

Let's just hope this decision does not jeopardise either Torvill or Dean's chances of scoring down south!

Brooker's Bits.

"Alright lards as the pickled egg situation is a bit quiet at the moment none at Hallow or the Vine!! thought i would

pass on a bit of advice as afar as selling raffle tickets is concerned. Last year i was under presurre to get rid of

my tickets but could be botherd to sell them so i bought them myself but stuck someone elses name on them!!

Always thinking!!"

The K.M.H. (Keep Marek Happy) society says

"Can the selectors publish some teams please?"

30th July 2005


If you have raffle tickets then they need to be returned to the club with the relevant proceeds from sales

this weekend at the latest please. Note to those who have trouble selling tickets, just buy them yourselves, it's simpler.

Please hand all monies, counterfoils and unsold tickets to Robin or your Captain.

Is it true that the Tour Committee (J Clarke and T Williams, + ex officio M Heaton)

were last seen quaffing in a West Malvern pub, shortly after laying hands on several £40 deposits

for Torquay? I think we should be told. We all look forward to the results of this week's

selection meeting; any similarity to last night's TV documentary on the B d'Oliveira affair is unintentional.

Daisy speaks... ( see question below ).

"This is a very interesting case,one that has caused me many hours of research. I feel that there is an unusual

and interesting connection here. From the clues given i would say that he has a severe ANOMALOUS DISORDER

which is connected to his liking of corona,this may alter during or after a total eclipse.

His association with TUNNEL VISION is the result of his interest in ARTIFICIAL SUB-TERRANEAN PASSAGES

which can in turn unearth many types of fossils that are incapable of further development. In the case of OVERLOAD ABUSE,

this is described in the dictionary as making bad use of ones talents or position,and i do not take this

as an excuse to excavate the Coombs Wood pitch on the pretext of possible ARCHAIC connections. His liking for POINT

is fairly straight forward as it is commonly associated with- THAT WHICH HAS POSITION BUT NO MAGNITUDE.

I strongly suggest he continues to bask in his newly found resplendent majesty and that he continues to enjoy smoking the chairmans

Havana cigars, at least we know why we have not had a commitee meeting for so long as he spends so much time in CUBA.

I wish our Polish leader continued success and may he remain all conquering and triumphant. REGARDS DAISY."

Dear Daisy……

“I have a friend, who shall remain anonymous but who is Polish, who is suffering from euphoria syndrome. He is currently

struggling to come to terms with his emotions following two wins back to back, a phenonomen not within his prior experience.

This has been tinged with anomaly as he is also undecided as to how to support his pal Cyril who is presently under the

weather following a bout of a condition known as Coombs woodperception overload abuse. Should he dig up the Coombs Wood

track on the pretext of carrying out a soil survey? Should he  report  to the league that the Quinton based side are suffering

from a collective tunnel vision complaint ....or should he just light up another of Bob Rogers' cheap cigars, knock the top off

another bottle of Corona and bask in the reflected glory of success whilst observing the North End Lane stadium from a vantage point
other than, well, point?!    Can you help? “


23rd July 2005.
Another maiden century in senior cricket for one of our Colts.

Congratulations to Phil Harris on his fine innings against Kidderminster Victoria.

By the way… does anyone know how and why Phil obtained his nickname “Acid” ? answer.

The 1st XI suffer their first defeat of the season for at the hands of Kiddy Vic, whilst the seconds win in the last over

and the 3rd secure 16 points in a thrilling winning draw at Stourbridge Social. Reprts to follow shortly.

Quote of the day.

Robbie Tyler, ( I think ), to Chris Hill (Bowling )

“C’mon MJ. Ask the Question!”

MJ :- “What’s the population of Afghanistan?”

The highs and lows of a young Green cricketer.
Lewis Hooper received a phone call on Friday asking him to represent the county under 15's. This was in recognition

of his match winning bowling for the seconds. On Saturday he broke his index finger trying for a caught and bowled.

The hospital have said he will be out for 6 weeks but Lewis hopes to be back sooner.

At least he can now concentrate on learning his lines for his acting debut at the Malvern Theatres.

"Break a leg or should I say finger".

The 1st XIs lead at the top of Division 2 has been cut to just 4 points following a dreary losing draw on Saturday against Belbroughton.
After a number of absolutely average displays over the last few weeks Saturday’s performance showed how easy it is to become complacent

Still…. We remain unbeaten.

Meanwhile – Wajzers assortment of miscreants and misfits recorded a marvellous victory at Coombs Wood on Sunday.

After the first 5 overs it looked as if we would be chasing about 400 but the opposition were restricted to a mere 260 and The Green

knocked them off , “comfortably ”, ( with 2 balls to spare ). Graham Glendenning, making his first appearance at this level managed

to keep the Green’s extras down to 65! – Piece of cake

Quote of the Day.

Matt Brookes,  (commenting on his umpiring decisions),

“If I can’t make a decision I can’t give him out”

A “Fun Quiz” with barbecue is being held at the club this Saturday 16th July at 8pm. Teams of up to 6 persons

are invited with an entry fee of £1 per person. This is a charity event so please turn up and give your support.

There is no need to pre-register, just enter on the night.

Secret film has been secured of Chris Hill during his stretches.

A Poem for the tour – from Jezza.
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