"Good day Barnards green this is the ECB a poor show at newland this week as at 12 o'clock today it started to rain so clive churchill rang our poor skipper by the name of steve freeman.

Oh and i will say the selection commitie wont be asking him to do it again,Bring back the rat man.

So as i was saying oh yes clive rang him from the three horse shoes saying "f*!*? off sam i aint playing in the rain I HAVE ALREADY HAD 5 PINTS OF BO!, give me a ring when were startin"

Well a good friend of the MCC emailed us at 7:15 saying it is not on.

Matthew Brookes is has put his foot down as this time last year was dropped from the first team for doing the the same thing but what everyone failed to no was the ratman new i werent playing.

So this must be sorted in the way HE was sorted.

Thanks for your time

"Cheers for that dad that must have put them in the way the brookes family works.

Oh by the way dad im still the best player in the club and will be for years to come.

So i have tried everything this year to get in the first team, i even work with Mr Boring and make him coffee all day but still no good.

I have only tried to kill him 300 times.

ill pop round tomorrow with a fresh batch of eggs"

Matthew your loving son